Cheated on wife need advice?

I鈥檓 a pastor at my local church here and been married for seven years with two wonderful kids. I love my pastor work. It what I have wanted to do all my life, this is what I made the biggest mistake in my life here I made. During a trip to Ohio with fellow pastors I had to share a room with another pastor who is few years younger that me. One thing lead to another and ended up having sex. I did thing I would never have thought of doing with another man. I鈥檓 praying hard for God to forgive me. But should I tell my wife about this? or leave it between me and God? No I鈥檓 not gay it just a one off experiences. Has any other man been through this or it just me? Please need serious advice only.Cheated on wife need advice?
A retreat to the Brokeback Mountain in Ohio???





Ok, seriously. You need to really understand AND accept your own sexuality. If you are truly a gay, then accept it and plan the path forward based on that.





The cheating incident is only the symptom of deeper issue in your marriage and sounds like that deeper issue could be that you are simply a gay.Cheated on wife need advice?
If you had sex with another man that makes you gay, you can't say you are not gay when you slept with a man '; come on now!'; However your a pastor and you deliver the word of God. WOW!!! And you are cheating! Man or woman that's wrong! you need to ask God for forgiveness! since you are a pastor you need to be honest and tell your wife that you committed adultery.
This is certainly my opinion only but, how could you even say, '; one thing lead to another?'; As a man of God you should have had enough brains and willpower to never let this happen. YES, pray for forgivness , if it be his will. I think you should have a good prayer and ask God what to do about your wife. What do you think you should do?


If you have to share another room again will this happen again because , one thing lead to another?
First of all, I am no one to judge you. With that said, as a christian, I would advice you to tell your wife. She is your life partner and you vowed to stay faithful to her. I would also quit being a pastor if I were you. How can you lead God's people when you have not only been unfaithful to the woman God gave you, but had sex with a man. (Which I have read in the bible to be an abomination in God's eyes.
Tell your wife, you promised your love to her in front of God. Try to explain this to her, about how terrible you feel, ask her to please try and stand by you. Please do not let this lie exist between you and the women you promised to be with for the rest of your life, that breaks my heart!
you should tell your wife. its not fair to keep something liek that a secret. you must realize that ur actions have consenquences, and its not alwasy goign to be in ur favor. do the right thing and tlak to your wife. hopefully she and God will both forgive you.
What would you tell one of your parishioners to do? What steps are necessary for you to take to fully repent and be forgiven? These are questions that will be specific to your particular faith. By answering these questions you should have a better idea as to what to do.
Interesting question history you got:





http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>








Troll!
Umm,,, any pastor would know that once you ask forgiveness from God you are forgiven. Tell your wife and go from there. and try to forgive yourself.
Seek counseling immediately. If not for yourself, heal your wife and children. There are sure to find out. Churches cannot keep secrets.
Tell your wife! If she finds out some other way she will be TRULY hurt. If you tell her there is more chance to be forgiven by her. Plus not telling her is practically lying.
Sam took the words right out of my mouth!
Oh how the mighty have fallen. Lmao. I'm sure you preach against homosexuality too. Screaming that all gays are going to hell. Well guess what you have homosexual tendencies. Don't make it worse by being a liar and a coward. Your wife has the right to know what kind of man she's married to. It wouldn't matter if it was a man or a woman you cheated on either. She deserves the chance to toss you out on your a-s.





edit: Is your life really that meaningless that you have to make up stupid fake questions? Obviously your dna came from the shallow end of the gene pool.
You should absolutely tell your wife. I have no religious belief, so as far as I am concerned, this is not between you and ';God';. This is between you an your primary sexual partner-your wife. Rather or not you cheated on her with another woman or man, you cheated on her and have put her health at risk. I hope you have not had the GAUL to sleep with her before having yourself tested and cleared for STDs.





As for you being gay..All human beings have attractions that rest on a spectrum, and where you are on the spectrum can fluctuate. There are very few people who are 100% heterosexual or 100% homosexual, most of us lean mostly in one direction, but that doesn't mean that we cannot have attractions to people that we usually wouldn't. That being said, forget the labels. You had sex with a man, and really, that's all that matters. I have been drunk as all hell, and have never had a sexual encounter with ANYONE that I did not WANT to. And never another woman, as I am almost 95%(or more) heterosexual. You need to come to terms with your own sexuality and be honest, and forgive yourself.





Again, you absolutely OWE it to your wife to be honest. You OWE her. Additionally, you owe it to yourself to own your attraction to men. Personally, I wouldn't moralize it, but again, I'm not religious in the least. But I'm sure you don't have wife who would be into you sleeping with other men(or women) ever again in your entire life, so it's something that must be discussed thoroughly.





Edit: I also want to point out how disgusted I am by these so-called ';Christian'; people who think that lying via evasion is somehow doing the wife a favor. Are you people serious? Yes, you are. ';Give it to God';, and not the wife? He isn't married to God, he is married to his wife. He isn't having sex with God, he's having sex with his wife. His sexual twosome just became a threesome. Evasion is lying people! Get your heads out of your B-i-b-l-e's people and get some real morals based on your consciousness not other culture's ancient convoluted text message...





And sorry for the rant.
why do you want to burden and hurt your wife with this? it is going to end your marriage and her life as she knows it. not to mention what it will do to your children's life.





you are burdened with guilt, but you say you have prayed for forgiveness. The Lord has forgiven you. as a Christian, you know that. you just have to live with forgiving yourself, %26amp; it will be hard but the Holy Spirit can help.





you will have to live with trying to forget what happened and wonder if the guy might show up %26amp; decide to ruin your life. but your wife %26amp; childrren do not deserve that pain so if you intend to stay married, be quiet and learn to live forgiven of sin. don't go on any more trips without your wife. don't let satan tempt you anymore. be watchful.





remember, the Lord said to the girl, go and sin no more. live it. now you know personally what it means.





I am a Christian.
Yes you are gay! Okay now that we have cleared this issue up. Trying not to sound so judgmental, but you are so wrong on all aspects of this situation. You need to tell your wife this, you never know what her response maybe, but whatever it is you have to just deal with it, you are on the one that created the betrayal. What do you think you are doing and the fact that you go and preach to you congregation about the right thing to do. I am not one that dislikes gay people, but it is people like you that make the world judge them. Go and tell your wife, give her the option to choose just like you did that very night.
EVERYONE is human, we all know that so well. I would NOT tell my wife if I were you. You made the mistake, you are the one who is hurting from it enuf, going thru enuf guilt yourself, why would you want to hurt her too! My Dad too was a minister, %26amp; I guess that's why I kinda of stressed the ';human'; side of it purposely. He had folks come to him w/every kind of situation you surely understand yourself. I truly believe this is something that should be ';worked out'; between you %26amp; the Lord. Only He can forgive our sins as you so well know. Do you in all honesty believe that HE would have you purpousely hurt another for a sin you yourself committed? I do NOT think He would. He is a loving God, one who ';protects'; His own. To tell her would not be protecting her but in fact just hurt her. I do not feel God would want us to cause another needless pain if we did not have to. There would be NO purpose in doing it in the first place. As a Christian, I would say to leave it w/the Lord %26amp; put it in His Hands. Also I'd ask the Lord for help w/this that it will NOT ever happen again. Do NOT weaken because you feel guilt. When God forgives, he washes away all guilt along with the sin that also was committed. Be grateful you DO have a forgiving Heavenly Father who has 'WASHED'; away your sins.. Take care...:)
First off, let me say I'm a 20 year old girl, so none of what I'm going to say is going to come from experience, but instead, from my opinion and me trying to imagine what your situation is like.





I would say that if there is ANY chance WHATSOEVER of your wife finding out at all, from anyone besides you, you should go ahead and tell her, so that she doesn't have to go through the agony of finding out from someone else.





I would also suggest not only praying for God's forgiveness, but for God's guidance on how much you should reveal to your wife and family, etc.





A word of reassurance: Whether other men will come forward and say this or not, they HAVE been through it. I was just recently reading about Ted Haggard, but he went to the extreme... Your situation is entirely different from his, but it is similar in the sleeping with another man part.





You are not any less of a Christian because of your actions, and you are not any less of a leader, of a husband, of a father. Everyone makes mistakes, and God looks at all mistakes the same way. He doesn't judge you more or less based on the sin you commit. You know this, I'm sure. As long as you are truly repentent, scripture says God takes our sins and spreads them as far as the east is from the west, and they are no more.





I hope this helps. If you need to talk, you can email me through yahoo! answers.