Military wife/relationship advice?

My boyfriend is three months into his deployment with the hanging possibility that he may redeploy three months after he comes home next year from this current deployment. He's not entirely sure if it's going to be unoptional. But if it's optional he has talked about volunteering to redeploy anyhow. He's a 19D CAV Scout and I understand that there is that ';brotherhood/soldier'; tie but how should I respond to this? To someone who doesn't understand the military life it would just sound like he didn't want to be around but I'm not sure how to take it? Any advice?Military wife/relationship advice?
I've been honorably discharged for barely a year and I was hardly in a year, but after just that it's still hard to a year later to grasp civilian life. I hate it and I'd go back in a minute if I could but due to injury after such a brief stint it's not an option for me. There is a brotherhood. The WORST thing you can do is make it about you. The BEST thing you can do is be supportive. Tell him how you feel-that you'd like him to be home, but not that you feel like he's placing you second and this can be tricky. My boyfriend is in the military and he is finishing bootcamp in a few weeks (yay!), but he is going to officer school after that. He can either go to an 8 week session or an 18 month session-here is how I've resolved to let him know how I feel but that it's ultimately his decision:





';Baby, no matter what decision you make, I will be behind you 100% but I'd sure love those 18 months with you. I love you.';





Thus, not whiny, he knows how much I want to be with him, but I'm not going to chew his head off if he does the 8 week thing. Same with deployment:





';Baby, I love you. I'm so proud of you. It's the coolest feeling in the world dating a hero. I missed you so much when you were gone. I'd sure love to have a little time with you if you don't have to go. But no matter what, I'm behind you 100%.';Military wife/relationship advice?
The first year my husband and I started dating he was sent to middle-east for 7 months straight. I knew what it meant to be dating/marrying in the military. I never asked him to stay on base or change career or to get out. Serving in the Army made him proud and happy so I let him do what he did best. I built myself a life with work, family, friends and activities to keep me busy.





This is the life waiting for you. If you've just started dating then you need to decide if you can live like this or not. Most military wives have raised their children on their own.





Yes there is a brotherhood in there you have to understand. If he wants to volunteer you let him.
talk him out of it, my son is over there, i'm also a former military wife. i suggest military.com to connect with other spouses in the chat rooms. i come from a family of 4 th generation military men/women spouses. on both sides of my family it hurts not to know where my son is or if he is alive, and well...... talk him out of it....... please...........
Well i think if you love him you have to respect what he wants and loves. If he loves you back he will do the same. Talk to him about it. Also think to yourself, will you like the lifestyle of being alone.
Well, You knew what you were getting into. And if you can stand it, and he is still being the husband he promised to be. Then well welcome to your life. Sounds like you miss him. But good luck!
hmmm he prob just wants to make some more extra money thats all. you should talk to him about it.





*proud marine wife!
I AM IN THE PLAYPEN WITH SWEET MILDRED...CRAWL INTO OUR SECRET SOCIETY
I am a 91S Preventive Medicine Specialist, and know all to well about the military and deployment. It sounds like your boyfriend is just thinking him self and his own feelings. I know everyone runs there own lives and should never be told what to do. He has to understand that he is a relationship of 2 not 1. He should consider your feelings on the situation as well as his. Does he expect you to wait for him for two years, he is making decisions about his life and where he is going. Does he expect you to put your life on hold. When I found out I was being deployed I had a talk with my girlfriend. I told her the situation and asked her how she felt and I told her how I felt. I explained to her that I loved her very much and would miss her so. I told her that if she fell in love while I was gone that it would hurt me, but I would understand. I couldnt put the burden of her waiting for me for 2yrs. She said ok. To my delight she stuck by me. The differance between me and your boyfriend is that I took time to discuss what was going on with my girlfriend. I took her feelings into consideration, because I love her. Remind your boyfriend that when you are in a relationship you are no longer AN ARMY OF ONE but an ARMY OF TWO. If he truely loves you he will listen to you and his heart.
it can definitely be hard at times.. even when he's not deployed he's always working..it's also hard to pick up everything and move somewhere completely new. BUT that's also a good thing. you depend on each other and become BEST friends :) you have the choice to either grow together or grow apart. if you love him enough, you can go through anything together and he'll be worth waiting for. i was dating my husband when it all began, through basic and tech school.. it brings you closer emotionally since you can't see them. all you can do is talk on the phone or write to him. being physical with him is the cherry on top of the sundae ;) marriage is amazing.. no matter how far away he may be i'll have his heart always and forever :)





if you're in love with your boyfriend, the next step is to ask yourself if you love him enough to be away from him? being a military wife is hard but true love is worth it :)
That's really hard. We have been married for many years and I have therefore lived through many deployments but it still upsets me when my husband gets a gleam in the eye when a new deployment is mooted. We are VERY happily married and it's hard to grasp why he would want to go. He explains it as 'this is what I am trained for, this is what I DO' and I know that there is a culture in the Army of being sorry for the rear party and those not deployable to the point where they will attempt to cover up illness or injury in order to remain deployable.





I feel so sorry for you American wives and girlfriends. Your deployments are SO long and so frequent and it must be terribly hard to have them away for so long and then try to deal with their returning when you have only had them home for a short time.





My view is that trying to stand in your boyfriend's way over this would be like trying to stop a train with a feather. My stock answer when my husband says things like this to me is; 'I am an Army wife. You know I will bear it, and you know I will cope but I'd rather you didn't go!' I don't moan and I don't nag. It's pointless. Your only hope is that after a long Op tour your boyfriend may feel differently at the end of it.