Leaving his wife..serious advice please?

My brother told me he has decided to leave his wife. He has met someone else, fallen in love and..well, it is his decision. It is never an easy one and I did have my suspicions it was coming. I am trying hard not to judge him myself at the moment as his wife is a part of the family %26amp; we have taken holidays together with our kids, etc.





But putting all this aside, he is not sure how best to go about it. He would like to share joint custody of the children and play an active part in raising them. He is just not sure what to tell her. The easy thing is the truth but it might not make for an amicable break up. The kids should not have to suffer %26amp; he doesn鈥檛 want to hurt her anymore than he has to. And yet he can鈥檛 just say he wants to move out but give no real reason. He has already told her he is not happy and they have been trying to work it out. Does anyone have any suggestions to help? I have my opinion but would be really good to hear some other ideas.Leaving his wife..serious advice please?
There is never an easy way to do this type of thing so the only way is to just do it. Tell her what has happened and let her hurt. She will and there is no way to stop it. The kids will be affected and there's no way to stop it. This is life, the only way to not experience these things is not to live life to it's fullest. All will come out of it scarred but they will live.Leaving his wife..serious advice please?
Wow that is a tough one. Honesty is the best policy. He should definitely start out with the positive that he got out of the relationship and that he wants to always be an active parent in his kids lives. Those things should lead up to the final words his wife will already expect to hear. As far as family goes, the way our family is...once youre family..you're always family (until you make yourself unwelcome) So on your part I would just reassure her that you still want to her to be around. Those are your nephews/nieces! Good luck!
That is what my ex did. He left and never told me why. I suspect he met another woman. Even to this day (6 yrs later) he acts angry at me when he sees me, like I did something wrong! I have forgiven him and moved on, but do wonder what the truth was. He moved across the country (supposidly to be with his girlfriend) and our children might see him once a year. I wouldn't recommend that - I see it as a cowards way out. The truth may hurt, but it is far better than leaving people wondering IMO. BTW let your sis in law know that even though your brother is not with her, you still consider her your sister and want her a part of your lives.





I do know a man who disowned his son for cheating and leaving his wife (the daughter in law). That is another way to go I suppose, especially if you feel it is morally wrong.
Ok this is my opinion based on what just happened in my life. If he has met someone and he is wanting to leave his wife. The best idea would be the truth but sometimes that is not always the easiest. Not happy and there is nothing going to fix this is and we need to file for divorce is the next option. But she will more than likely find out in the end anyway
I think as long as your brother is married, he should honor the vows he made to his wife, and the mother of his children, and remain faithful to her until any divorce is final. He has betrayed his wife and children's trust in him--and yet he still wants an amicable divorce settlement? Tell him to dream on.





I hope his wife takes him for everything he's got. Cheaters deserve it.
I have always said that in this modern World, couples who are Married do not take their Vows seriously, whatever happened to this words spoken in the ceremony when a Judge or a Priest is Marrying them, ';Till Death do us Part.'; To make matters worse your Brother does not take into consideration, that he has kids to boot, does he cares how this is going to hurt them as time goes on and he is not with them. I am not going to go on and on with this charade, but what goes around comes around, because what makes your Brother so sure this Woman he is Leaving his Wife for, will be loyal to him. I hope he pays for what he is doing to his Family.
At one point ';he met his wife, fell and love with her...'; for people like your brother it's likely to be a sad cycle of misery.





I think he should try and work it out with his current wife.
Cannot help you help your no good brother leave his wife and children for some tramp. He vowed for better or worse and 'til death do you part. He cannot keep a promise made before God why should anyone help him Its his wife and the kids that need help.
Well, he should quit cheating and stay with his wife and make it right.


That is my advice to him.


Why would he want to hurt his wife, his children...? Why would someone choose to be a part time parent if the differences can be worked out?
I'll say ...stay out of their business. If he is man enough to cheat on his wife he should be a man to tell her.
He doesn't deserve anything that might bring him happiness the children would be better off without him. He's a cheater and hopefully his wife takes him for all he's worth!
I'm not sure he is going to be happy with this relationship. As for telling her about the other woman I wouldn't tell her at first. Best to let her find out some other way.





He can get a 50/50 custody as more and more judges are agreeing to this and it is better for the kids.





Good luck he will need it.
Since he doesn't want to be honest, which would be the best thing, he needs to use the fact they attempted to make it work as an excuse. He should say that they've tried but he feels it isn't working and he feels it would be best for them to separate for awhile and decide where to go from there.
I cant belive that you havent that you are so cool with this. Where are you morals. What if this happen to you but it was you husband and his sister? I can tell your a peice of Sh*T aunt. Of course I'm not judging you.
Well I hate to see that bc if he has children he dosent realize how this will affect them mentally and emotionally but if he is really that unhappy he needs to be prepared for the child support and the fact that regardless what excuse he gives it is not going to be peacefully...But if he dosent want her to hate him beyond recognition he needs to tell her the truth and say, '; You know we have not been happy with each other for a while now and I am sure the kids can sense it, I dont want to be miserable and I dont want to make you miserable and so I think it would be better if we call it quits and get a divorce so that way we can hold on to any friendship we still have, I may not be with you but I will always be there if you need me as a friend.'; If she asks about you seeing anybody Else just say that you have met someone and that is another reason you wanted to do this now before you get involved with that person. Tell your wife you respected her enough to wait rather then cheat on her... If none of this works then your just screwed..... glad if I helped
Can you brother remember the sweet and memorable moment with her wife. If yes, try to work out something
he need to just be honest no d*cking her around tell her he wasnt ready to be married and he wants out thats all sometimes the simplest way is the best
A mother will do anything for her kids, if they will suffer more, meaning they have suffered enough already; she will live w/ a man that truly hates her just to see her kids happy. As long as the two grown-ups don't fight in front of the kids.





as for the brother, just be neutral and don't gossip. Be an uncle, a brother, and a friend.





best advice to your brother, honesty is always better. If he's unhappy, it's for a reason, so he has a reason to give her. If he didn't want to make her feel bad, then he should have never ';shopped'; around. When it rains, it pours. In a marriage, you may not always be in love, but if he truly saw her for the woman he married, those feelins would slowy return. Slowly, meaning like three yrs. But if would take a lot of giving from both, not just one.
I think the obvious answer is to have a third party....That being a counselor. He can help them walk through the process as nicely as is ';possible';. There is no painless way to get a divorce and the children will be affected, period. He needs to maintain his honor through the process and be kind, but firm in his decision.
Is always hard when you have to leave your family. I believe is hard for him as well. I will tell you when love is gone is not much anybody can do.





Most of the time is easy just to blame him, because he is the one leaving. But you have to know the real reason why. Was he happy? Was she happy?


I think he is honest.Trying to leave her instead or have a relation while he is marry.





Maybe some people prefer to live in a relationship when one of the couple is unhappy.





That is good that he is not trying to talk about issues in a way.





I think he is your brother. He is important for you, and now he is having a difficult time. Listen to him and don't judge him, advised him, without trying to change his mind.





Marriage is something so delicate, like a flower. You have to take care of what you have. You have to appreciate when you have a good man or a good woman. And sometimes we just forget about it and we become selfish.





They are the only ones that really knows what happened in their relationship. And most likely couples blame each other.





Good luck to your family.
TELL THE TRUTH FROM THE BEGINNING!!!





Just be careful how to word it. The soon-to-be ex will find out sooner or later anyway. Leaving your spouse for another person is really tough on the ex. After they blow a gasket, give them some time to settle down. Then divide everything as amicably as possible. It takes time but it can be done.
Maybe he should tell his wife ';Dear, I regret to inform you I am selfish and I cheated on you and I am going to tear our family apart and hurt our kids %26amp; you miserably by leaving you.';





such a shame for the wife and kids, really!
He should tell her and be prepared for whatever follows afterwards. The best thing for you to do is stay out of it if you don't want hard feelings against you later. You can't make up his mind for him, and he will have to do this on his own. since he has kids, it will eventually come out that he had someone else.
It'll be ugly if he tells the truth but not half as ugly as if she finds out later. She deserves to hear the truth. In the long run it will be better and if they are going to share custody of the kids she will find out. If he lies, he or the new woman will slip up eventually and all hell will break lose. The kids will think he's a liar and it will be a complete mess.





It's going to be bad at first, she'll be pissed and there will be issues, but if he lies it will be so much worse. It doesn't sound like he cares about his wife at all. She does have a right to know.