Wife advice! (hehe i rhymed)?

ok well im married and my wife has insisted on keeping our money seperated. but now she is not makeing as much money as befor and now im haveing to pay her bills. this has been going on for a few months now. wich is fine as log as im not takeing forgranted. when this first started she was like ';honey i love you and i need help paying the bills'; and im cool with that. and now its ';what!!! your not going to pay my bills!!!!'; and a virbal fight starts.


it just seems like she is expecting it now. with no thankyou or anything. so while im struggleing 7 days a week to make ends meet. she is working 3 days a week running around with her friends on her days off. with no effort to try and find more/ better work.


so im asking how do i motiveate her? or if im going to be paying the bills, how do i get her to appreciate it?Wife advice! (hehe i rhymed)?
Well, first of all you there can be a marriage (like mine) where you each have your own accounts, but have a joint account for JOINT bills (mortgage, utilities, etc). If she isn't contributing financially then she shouldn't be ';running around';. She needs to spend that time looking for a better paying job or a second job. I would suggest a marriage AND a financial advisor. If you go to a church, they can provide you with both. She's being terribly one-sided.Wife advice! (hehe i rhymed)?
don't pay them for her,then she will be motivated to pay them
Last time I checked when you get married you don't have your money and her money, is the family money.





You both need to sit down and calmly talk about this instead of fighting, because when you argue, niether of you is going to be listening. Also I think you and your wife would deffinatly benifit from marriage counceling.
If she is taking you for granted, which that is what it seems like. Just stop paying her bills, and tell her to get a job that will allow her to get the money she needs for her bills.


You are a soft gentle man, do not let her drain you.
';Wife'; doesn't rhyme with ';advice';...sorry.
What bills does she have that are separate from yours? Credit card? Moblie phone? At any rate, the best advice that I was given, was to have three separate accounts- one for husband, one for wife, and a joint account for mutual bills and the like. You both contribute to your separate accounts and the joint account (the same percentage of your income). As far as your wife is concerned, she seems a little immature. Perhaps if you don't pay her nonessential bills (obviously the mortgage, gas/electric, etc. must be paid), then she'll be forced to find a way to pay them.





She is not your daughter, she is your wife, and should contribute to the house as much as she can. Even if she was your daughter it would be the same situation. If your child can't pay for her cell phone because she spends her money shopping, she loses the phone. It's as simple as that. You can't force her to appreciate you. In other words, you can't give her the home-training her parents missed.
Well,


I'd say they aren't her bills or your bills...they belong to both of you because you are married...set that straight first


Then develop a WRITTEN budget that you use weekly and follow it...
Rhymed with what? Anyway, you are MARRIED, not just living together. The bills and all the money belong to both of you. There's no such thing as ';her bills'; and ';his bills'; in a marriage. You obviously didn't know that, but you went ahead and got married anyway....so now you need to do some serious budgeting. If you don't know how, get some help from someone. This advice is based on the premise that you want to stay married. If all you care about is who pays for what, then ignore it and get a divorce.
stop the cash and you will see if she wants to improve her status or she wants to go out with friends I have found that the best way to handle this is to put the cash in a pot and pay out the bills and then if anything is left split it
its nice she has friend but you need time together so you could talk tell her how you feel she your soul mate the girl of your dream
I agree with Mike T. If you continue to pay her bills, how will she learn?


She wants to run all the time and play but ';keep the money separate?'; Its like she wants to call the shots - always in her favor. Tell her that you don't mind paying her bills but the money all goes together from now on and she needs to appreciate you.
Tell her the gravy train stops here. If she needs help paying the bills, then she certainly doesn't have the money to go out with friends. She needs to prioritize, and, yes, she's taking you for granted. Make it stop. If you let people walk all over you like that, they'll never respect you, and you deserve that, at the very least.
you need to sit down and talk about the problems calmly and let her know how you feel and what your concerns are.


also both of you should be makin equal efforts to pay bills ect and she shouldnt jsut expect you to pay her part of the bills.. if ya have any bills that arent joint such as mobile bills or car repayments of your own then dont go payin them for her and soon she might realise that she cant take you for granted and will atleast appreciate it more. if there no kids involved to look after then really there is no reason for her not to find more work and bring more income into the house.. if that dont work you may want to consider marriage counsiling ect
My husband and I have also kept our accounts separate. I know what I'm responsible for on a monthly basis and he knows what he's responsible for each month. Here's the thing: he makes considerably more $ than I make and hence, his portion of the bills is bigger than mine. That's just fair dude, and I don't have to be all goobery appreciative of it. I'm putting in all I can and we're a team. We're not keeping score against eachother...maybe that's why the other poster is considering divorce. What a shame. I'm self employed and I come up short sometimes for my portion, I tell my husband that he'll have to take on more that month and it's done. No apologies, no grudges, no resentment...just teamwork. You carry her when she needs a hand, you might need her to carry you at some point. That's just marriage. I'm almost done my rant...here's the part where I'm on your side-you should encourage her to increase her income with creative ideas. Maybe there's something she'd be good at that she hasn't thought of yet. Remind her of some of the goals you two share and then explain that you can't accomplish those on the budget you've got at the minute. (This might inspire her to look harder for more work) Whatever happens, don't take EACHOTHER for granted. I'm sure she brings a lot to the table as well. Good luck!! :)
tell her since the money is separated she can pay her own bills....


if that dosen't work....ya better off without her! she needs a good dose of responsibility..
I'm in a similar boat and I and I'm heavily thinking of divorce. Sorry, I know that's not what you wanted to hear.
her bills? they are both your bills you married her. tell hr that you need her to help out more and that you don't think it is fair of her to be able to run around so much when you have to work so much to pay for all the running she is doing when she could be helping you both more.
tell her how u fill tell her while u are off makin money she onl works three days and goes out with frineds while ur alon or at work tell her its not rit and ur fillin like she is using u tell her everything u just said!! thin shell see
Next go 'round you should just get a puppy. Real marriages do not have separate bank accounts.
Marrage is a partnership...each person working for the benefit of the other. It is not your money/her money...it is our money. That is called sharing. Sounds like when she wanted you to pay her bills she was all sweet about it...like she was trying to get you to want to help her. As far as expecting it...well sounds like she depended on you to do it and I dont know whether or not you did...or if it was hard for you to do it. She should thank you...by the way. As far as her work goes...definitely if she is not making a lot of money she should try to get a better job...it is a partnership. As far as motivate...well I dont think you are going to be able to do that...because if she knew that was the right thing to do...she would be making the effort. Sounds like she likes it exactly the way it is...giving her free time to be with her friends rather than helping you. As far as getting her to appreciate it...well she should...as marrage is each person appreciating the things they do for each other...and if you are going to give her the freedom to only work three days a week, spend time with her friends...that means you work harder to provide that. If she loves you truly...appreciation is just part of the package deal. Hey, why dont you print out this reply and put it in an envelope and give it to her! Maybe coming from someone else will open her eyes. Marrage is hard enough without having to deal with this...and if you dont solve it...the road ahead does not look good...as their will be other things...and who knows what will happen in the future once you REALLY feel taken advantage of!