Relationship advice 4 wife?

I have been married for less than 2months. (together 3yrs)


We have a baby together who is 5months.


I am a full time student in nursing program, which I love.


My husband is a waiter. He used to be obsessed with xbox/friends. I got him to realize it, and he gave it up. . .


Now he hangs out with ppl from work. He has done coke 2x. I let it go, I only asked for him to stop hanging out with those ppl. And he refuses.


We got married b/c he was supposed to be going into air force. He changed his mind, now I don't have health insurance and will not have insurance till I graduate.


I'm lost. I love him, but he won't be responsible. I pay for everything when it comes to our baby. She is the most important thing to me and I would do anything for her. . .


He won't stop his bad habits, he blames all our fights on me, I just am trying to get him going in a direction





what should i do? Relationship advice 4 wife?
With all the confusion your husband is causing you cannot be a good mother. Your attention and focus is not where it should be and you know that's on yourself and your child. Drug addicts, even casual ones can drag you through the mud and not care about the consequences they cause. If he's showing you inconsistencies, and irresponsibility it's time to go, leave before your child gets neglected. You can not raise him and a new born. You can do bad by yourself. and you are doing just that; You just got some guy hanging around watching you do bad. ';Father of the child'; is not a title that should keep you in this relationship with him. Your already doing life by yourself, be by yourself, you'd be surprised how much help you can will get.Relationship advice 4 wife?
I recognize you have a relationship problem that is bigger than the lack of health insurance, but if that is something that concerns you, try joining the National Student Nurses Association. You may research them at www.nsna.org or call 718-210-0705. They have lots of member benefits, including student health insurance. Their membership fee is affordable.Once you are a member you may apply for their health plan through UnitedHealthcare StudentResources.
As hard as it may seem, saying goodbye is sometimes the best option. He is not part of your future because he is not actively working to improve the lives of the people that he is responsible for. It may take you leaving for him to be shocked into change, but it may be too late. But waiting for change that is not going to happen is futile. File for divorce and get all of the child support that is legal. That is the only way he will ever take the financial obligation of his child.
hate to be the bearer of bad news but you married him for the wrong reason in the first place. Never marry someone just because you think they are going somewhere. Make sure their already there before you commit to something like marriage. Secondly, many people who use coke find it absolutely exhilarating. And, will continue to use if its right in front of them. I can see why yall are fighting true enough. So I guess that decisions up to you.
i know a woman who is still married to a guy who does that and he always says that he will quit---they have 3 kids together and for years i have watched them struggle with everything --i mean it is ti the point that she doesn't even go by his last name-----


sometimes you just have him let him run his course...
you can''t get him going anywhere. he controls him, you control you.


decide what you are willing to put up with. let him know. he has a choice. use empathy and communicate by empathizing with his feelings and needs. that will cause him to be more empathetic with your feelings and needs. try to understand what he gets from hanging out with those people and why he enjoys it. there is your key, finding out what he needs. if you meet his needs he will gravitate to you. if you don't he will gravitate to those who do.
he needs to stop unless he wants to loose his baby. he can't be having that kind of crap around the house. maybe you should give him a lesson and leave so he can realize that you are being serious about that crap. that really sucks to know that you have that crap around your child. it makes me believe that your husband doesn't care for her or you.
You answered it...your baby is the most important thing to you, he won't change his ways......leave and don't look back. It's better to do it sooner rather than later. Who knows that may be the wake up call he needs.
who you love and who you 'should' love are a matter of choice. In this case it's a bad choice.





The only answer is to correct that choice. You can't change anyone.



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He must contribute financially for his child or I would just tell him to get out. If you are doing it all by yourself, what do you need him around for? Just to drag you down? Who needs that?
Get out while you can your baby is your priorty maybe seperate for a while and see if he can be responsible at all
He needs help, or get out and make a life for yourself, it will not get any better, he is not going to change.
Sounds as if you two need to trying counseling...maybe your husband is going through something that he doesn't know how to tell you.
He has to be willing to change all by himself. He did it in the past with his x-box...so you know he is capable of it..give him some good advice...and he will come around
Leslie :) has the right answer. I have nothing else to add.





other than your hubby needs to grow up.
You made a mistake if you thought marrying him was going to change him or somehow make him more responsible. He is the same jerk he was three months ago. He never changed. He just did what he had to do to shut you up for a while/that includes the marriage. He's a boy in a man's suit. You need to concentrate on you and your baby. He is dead weight. If you left him today, he will be in the same place five years from now. We can't be right 100% of the time. Face the fact that your judgement was a little cloudy , finish school, and move on (not necessarily in that order). You already have one child to take care of...you really do not need two.





ps He switches the blame so you will feel guilty and have sympathy for him because of your ';evil'; ways:)...Move on, girl!
I will never understand why people commit to another based on what they think the other may become rather than what they truly are. Why on Earth would anybody be so high on themselves that they would be convinced that they could change somebody when nothing else ever has? You committed to a person who was/is clearly irresponsible, at the very least, and the only thing he has done has traded one vice for another. Furthermore, why would you subject a precious child to this lunacy? Take some responsibility for your own actions and the consequences thereof.