on saturday afternoon my wife Sharon and i are going to a cookout at her friend Karen's it is going to be 82 hear in mass on Saturday and Sharon wants to know if u think this will be ok for her to wear shorts set http://www.qvc.com/qic/qvcapp.aspx/view.2/app.detail/params.item.A2414.desc.Citiknits-Batik-Print-Scoopneck-Top-and-Solid-Shorts and sandals http://www.6pm.com/multiview/7237447/492 be honestMy wife needs advice?
It is appropriate for an older woman. I don't think I would go with black though. I would pick a lighter more springy color. I do like the shoes.My wife needs advice?
Cute outfit for a lady in their mid 50's +. I like the sandals! Bright spring colors are really in right now, I would suggest a little more color...besides...color is fun;) Maybe put on a long beaded necklace. Don't forget to bring a jacket if the cookout goes into the evening hours.
Have fun! Wish our weather was that nice!!
If it's going to be 82 degrees, she might consider staying away from black all together. Plus it's acetate %26amp; spandex. Not good for warm weather. She should get a lighter color outfit preferably made of cotton. Best of luck.
frankly, I think the shoes are kinda cute buth the short set is plug ugly.
wow, nice outfit like my grandmother
If she likes that then it's fine.
Frankly I wouldn't be caught dead in it but that's me.
Looks fine to me
Friday, January 8, 2010
My wife, NEED ADVICE!!!!!!!?
Says she wants to stay together and work on things, so i agreed (despite previous personality issues) the other night we are in bed together (yes ';really in bed';) and she calls me another man's name... whats next? she says she doesn't remember it and is sorry. I know what i heard though. I don't follow her or check her txt messages and I am not going to revert to petty stalking. She did confess that she erased a txt message from a guy friend of hers, the same name she called me, but all it said was i miss you.the next day she told the guy she wasn't gonna talk to him and told him the situation. She showed me the txt which said on both parts they weren't interested in each other, could be a game or the truth i don't know, whats your advice on the situation?My wife, NEED ADVICE!!!!!!!?
where there is smoke, there is fire...My wife, NEED ADVICE!!!!!!!?
';so i agreed (despite previous personality issues)';
WHAT my friend does that mean? are you looking for an excuse to point your finger? you sound like a jerk Narc, and she's a cheating liar.
She's either cheated, or was going to , and almost got caught, hence showing you texts'; oh look.. I'm innocent see.. I could of but I didn't';..
let the loser woman cheat. In the meantime you can continue flexing in the mirror
She's unfaithful. Maybe she wants to not be unfaithful and wants to do the right thing, but her actions will probably not reflect this. Find out why she was interested in someone else in the first place. If she cannot give a satisfying explanation, I say drop her off at her mom's house and wash your hands of her. Too many fine women in this world to waste your time on a cheating ho.
Yikes! Bob is not what you want to hear when your name is Daniel. I think she is hooking up with the other guy or at least entertaining it. If you see red flags around such as being out later and later, not answering the phone, turning the phone off, etc. - you probably need to address the seriousness of your need to move on.
Drew
People do think about others when they are having sex. She might have had her eyes closed and was thinking of that guy. Don't look to much into it. I know it might hurt and your doing the right thing when it comes to not checking her texts and stalking her. You need to trust your wife so trust her.
You know there is something going on, unless you wouldn't be asking Yahoo! Answers...
My incling is that it is a cover up. You don't just shout someone elses name, unless you have feels for them, or its a celebrity--- fat chance in...
Well I would sit her down. Tell her its not working for you. And go from there.
She is playing games on you. Whatever she showed you are most likely lies. You do not call out another man's name in bed by mistake. Needless to say that your wife and this man are deeply involved.
I think something is fishy here. And it is probably the guy's fingers that the text message came from.
Revert to petty stalking. I'm serious.
Sounds fishy to me. Have there been any other red flags? Might want to keep a closer eye on her for a bit...
Good luck.
You really want to try? Counseling. Both of you together.
I think she is cheating on you. Hire a private investigator.
make love to her and call out a woman's name at ';the moment'; then say oops sorry old memory
My advice is to go to a marriage therapist.
What are you waiting for? Go... Sorry to say this but, if it's not a game then she's only hanging on to you until she actually hooks this other guy enough to have a place to go. I suspect that it is a game and that maybe she has tried to actually tell you that she wants out before and you didn't listen/hear/believe her... I say this because I want desperately for my husband to accept that I want a divorce and I am not happy and I have actually considered and discussed these exact kinds of tactics with my girlfriends simply because nothing else has worked and he just will not accept it or doesn't care, I'm not sure which yet...but I cannot get through to him. Either way, you should go, or she should, whatever...get on with your life, don't drag it out, it's over, accept it...you're probably not a bad guy, she's probably not bad...just bad together, there's no way around it especially if she's pulling this kind of stuff...it's done in her mind already. IMHO anyway...
im sorry that really sucks...i would either let her know what she is doing to ur head and basically playing games and making u nuts..or leave..u sound wonderful and i hate to see bad things happening to good people...one thing that could help if she is bored and thats why she is playing games would to seek marriage councling...but to me it sounds like she is playing mind games with u..she likes u to get jealous and makes her feel wanted by not only u but a stranger...once again im sorry wish u well
where there is smoke, there is fire...My wife, NEED ADVICE!!!!!!!?
';so i agreed (despite previous personality issues)';
WHAT my friend does that mean? are you looking for an excuse to point your finger? you sound like a jerk Narc, and she's a cheating liar.
She's either cheated, or was going to , and almost got caught, hence showing you texts'; oh look.. I'm innocent see.. I could of but I didn't';..
let the loser woman cheat. In the meantime you can continue flexing in the mirror
She's unfaithful. Maybe she wants to not be unfaithful and wants to do the right thing, but her actions will probably not reflect this. Find out why she was interested in someone else in the first place. If she cannot give a satisfying explanation, I say drop her off at her mom's house and wash your hands of her. Too many fine women in this world to waste your time on a cheating ho.
Yikes! Bob is not what you want to hear when your name is Daniel. I think she is hooking up with the other guy or at least entertaining it. If you see red flags around such as being out later and later, not answering the phone, turning the phone off, etc. - you probably need to address the seriousness of your need to move on.
Drew
People do think about others when they are having sex. She might have had her eyes closed and was thinking of that guy. Don't look to much into it. I know it might hurt and your doing the right thing when it comes to not checking her texts and stalking her. You need to trust your wife so trust her.
You know there is something going on, unless you wouldn't be asking Yahoo! Answers...
My incling is that it is a cover up. You don't just shout someone elses name, unless you have feels for them, or its a celebrity--- fat chance in...
Well I would sit her down. Tell her its not working for you. And go from there.
She is playing games on you. Whatever she showed you are most likely lies. You do not call out another man's name in bed by mistake. Needless to say that your wife and this man are deeply involved.
I think something is fishy here. And it is probably the guy's fingers that the text message came from.
Revert to petty stalking. I'm serious.
Sounds fishy to me. Have there been any other red flags? Might want to keep a closer eye on her for a bit...
Good luck.
You really want to try? Counseling. Both of you together.
I think she is cheating on you. Hire a private investigator.
make love to her and call out a woman's name at ';the moment'; then say oops sorry old memory
My advice is to go to a marriage therapist.
What are you waiting for? Go... Sorry to say this but, if it's not a game then she's only hanging on to you until she actually hooks this other guy enough to have a place to go. I suspect that it is a game and that maybe she has tried to actually tell you that she wants out before and you didn't listen/hear/believe her... I say this because I want desperately for my husband to accept that I want a divorce and I am not happy and I have actually considered and discussed these exact kinds of tactics with my girlfriends simply because nothing else has worked and he just will not accept it or doesn't care, I'm not sure which yet...but I cannot get through to him. Either way, you should go, or she should, whatever...get on with your life, don't drag it out, it's over, accept it...you're probably not a bad guy, she's probably not bad...just bad together, there's no way around it especially if she's pulling this kind of stuff...it's done in her mind already. IMHO anyway...
im sorry that really sucks...i would either let her know what she is doing to ur head and basically playing games and making u nuts..or leave..u sound wonderful and i hate to see bad things happening to good people...one thing that could help if she is bored and thats why she is playing games would to seek marriage councling...but to me it sounds like she is playing mind games with u..she likes u to get jealous and makes her feel wanted by not only u but a stranger...once again im sorry wish u well
My wife needs advice?
my wife and i are having a cookout on sunday a lot of her family and freinds will be there she bought some new shoesto wear at the cookout she wants to know what you think of the shoes and what you think she she wear to the cookout that would go good with her new shoes http://www.aldoshoes.com/eng/storeSection/redirect.cfm?sectionID=b2c/style/productDetails.cfm%26amp;itemID=68466317%26amp;%26amp;var=d%26amp;ckey=US%26amp;colorid=96My wife needs advice?
who buys shoes first? u and your wife are so weird. u buy dress, then u buy all the restMy wife needs advice?
Uhm shoes = awesome!!!! I'm thinking with those shoes you have to show some serious leg, how about a dress? Strapless or spaghetti strapped. O and it definitely has to be black that will bring out the shoes.
Very nice shoes. Either some nice white capri pants or a sun type of dress possibly in fushia %26amp; black. Enjoy!
what does this have to do with marriage and divorce,?
Use the right catagory.
who buys shoes first? u and your wife are so weird. u buy dress, then u buy all the restMy wife needs advice?
Uhm shoes = awesome!!!! I'm thinking with those shoes you have to show some serious leg, how about a dress? Strapless or spaghetti strapped. O and it definitely has to be black that will bring out the shoes.
Very nice shoes. Either some nice white capri pants or a sun type of dress possibly in fushia %26amp; black. Enjoy!
what does this have to do with marriage and divorce,?
Use the right catagory.
Military Wife Needs advice on how to deal with awkward social situations?
My husband and I get invited to a lot of parties and outings with the people he works with and their wives/gfs. If I am not drinking (which now I can't do b/c of medication) then the whole time I feel totally awkward and left out, because I am new here and all the other girls know each other and are very outgoing- they drink, get loud and have a great time. And all the men get together and talk shop so last night my husband was gone from me pretty much the whole night. It's not that I expect him to stay glued to my side the entire time, but because I don't really feel that comfortable with any one person there, at times it felt like I was at this party (for HIS friends and co-workers!!!) by myself. I was bored, upset, and flustered. I felt like a complete idiot sitting there by myself for hours and hours while everyone else played drinking games and talked about stuff I didnt know about. All I wanted was to go home, but i didn't say anything.
I have always been kind of shy since I was a child. It was then that I had ';friends'; that abused me (think the movie ';Mean Girls'; only WORSE) and then in middle school I was barked at (yes as in like a dog), and then my mom put me in another school district, and there I was harassed so mercilessly that I ended up graduating and leaving 1 year early. So though High school was like 10 years ago, I apparently still have a deeply rooted fear/distrust of people, and often an overwhelming fear that I will look stupid or that people won't like me (because I was ';myself'; before, never bothered anyone, and look what it got me). So that causes me to appear to be a little aloof in social situations, while on the inside, my emotions are boiling just beneath the surface.
My husband does not understand why I don't just jump in and join in on the fun, and feels that my boredom is basically my fault for not talking to the other wives. Whenever I say it's because ';I'm just shy'; he will say ';I used to be shy too, you gotta want to fix it'; or ';High school was a long time ago'; or something like that. And that frustrates me, because I'd like nothing more than to just flip a switch and ';be normal'; but the fact is no matter how I want it, in 10 years I have yet to make that happen. It's not that I want to be this way! It's all very overstimulating, scary and I have no idea of how to turn off those feelings and just have fun. It's wierd, it almost feels like there is a disconnect between me and other people, or a glass wall. The only persons I've ever felt truly connected to in my life are my immediate family and my husband. Not sure what to do.Military Wife Needs advice on how to deal with awkward social situations?
I can say I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. I too am a military wife. I graduated early so I could work to pay for my wedding and then got married and moved away from all family and friends (cant say I ever had mean friends though). When I got here my husband was a pretty big drinker, and his friends have parties all the time. So that's where we were every Friday night. I am not a very sociable person when Im in a crowd, but get with me one on one, and we can be best friends by the next day. So I was the one sitting on the couch, pretty much waiting to leave. I also don't drink, so that set me even further apart from everyone else. I just kept going to the parties with him, and meeting his friends and their spouses/ girlfriends out to eat and other occasions. Eventually I learned to put myself out there, not too much though. Joining in on beer pong (but making someone else drink your cups) and playing poker are usually my ways of blending in. The best thing to do is start getting to know people a few at a time, and then you are sure to feel more comfortable eventually. Group dates or just a night out with ';the guys';. Good Luck on everything.Military Wife Needs advice on how to deal with awkward social situations?
well for one are you 'on base',there must be someone you can trust?
I see two possible problems here. One may be you and the other may be the crowd that you're in. Why don't you try getting to know some of the wives on an individual basis. Go to lunch or something so that you get to know at least a few of them. On the other hand, you said that they drink and get loud. It's hard for a sober person to enjoy this. Most sober people cannot stand to stay around a bunch that are intoxicated. For instance, an alcoholic in recovery must let go of all the old drinking buddies to be successful. They are a trigger. If they are drinking to a large extent, I can see why you can't enjoy their humor. Sit down and ask yourself if it's you or the crowd that is the problem?
Some people will understand what your describing and some will read maybe read the 1st paragraph and move on without comment. Not everyone fits into the social mold. Not everyone drinks. You are admired in my opinion for not fitting into this social freenzy. Be yourself but drop the croud and just say no. Do the things you enjoy doing with your husband and tell him that it's ok if the two of you are together walking in parks, trails, visiting cities, or malls together. Try going to church and at least that will be of some influence away from the non-normal scene. And, don't beat yourself up for having principles that are different from other people. You're wise, not shy. I and my wife stopped going to social gatherings many years ago and we don't miss them and the people surely don't give it any thought at all, they just know that we are the best of friends and enjoy our private time aways from work.
I have the same problems I have to wonder if you could be suffering from depression. If your not sure what to do then may be go see a doctor and tell tghe doctor what you said here.
I have always been kind of shy since I was a child. It was then that I had ';friends'; that abused me (think the movie ';Mean Girls'; only WORSE) and then in middle school I was barked at (yes as in like a dog), and then my mom put me in another school district, and there I was harassed so mercilessly that I ended up graduating and leaving 1 year early. So though High school was like 10 years ago, I apparently still have a deeply rooted fear/distrust of people, and often an overwhelming fear that I will look stupid or that people won't like me (because I was ';myself'; before, never bothered anyone, and look what it got me). So that causes me to appear to be a little aloof in social situations, while on the inside, my emotions are boiling just beneath the surface.
My husband does not understand why I don't just jump in and join in on the fun, and feels that my boredom is basically my fault for not talking to the other wives. Whenever I say it's because ';I'm just shy'; he will say ';I used to be shy too, you gotta want to fix it'; or ';High school was a long time ago'; or something like that. And that frustrates me, because I'd like nothing more than to just flip a switch and ';be normal'; but the fact is no matter how I want it, in 10 years I have yet to make that happen. It's not that I want to be this way! It's all very overstimulating, scary and I have no idea of how to turn off those feelings and just have fun. It's wierd, it almost feels like there is a disconnect between me and other people, or a glass wall. The only persons I've ever felt truly connected to in my life are my immediate family and my husband. Not sure what to do.Military Wife Needs advice on how to deal with awkward social situations?
I can say I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. I too am a military wife. I graduated early so I could work to pay for my wedding and then got married and moved away from all family and friends (cant say I ever had mean friends though). When I got here my husband was a pretty big drinker, and his friends have parties all the time. So that's where we were every Friday night. I am not a very sociable person when Im in a crowd, but get with me one on one, and we can be best friends by the next day. So I was the one sitting on the couch, pretty much waiting to leave. I also don't drink, so that set me even further apart from everyone else. I just kept going to the parties with him, and meeting his friends and their spouses/ girlfriends out to eat and other occasions. Eventually I learned to put myself out there, not too much though. Joining in on beer pong (but making someone else drink your cups) and playing poker are usually my ways of blending in. The best thing to do is start getting to know people a few at a time, and then you are sure to feel more comfortable eventually. Group dates or just a night out with ';the guys';. Good Luck on everything.Military Wife Needs advice on how to deal with awkward social situations?
well for one are you 'on base',there must be someone you can trust?
I see two possible problems here. One may be you and the other may be the crowd that you're in. Why don't you try getting to know some of the wives on an individual basis. Go to lunch or something so that you get to know at least a few of them. On the other hand, you said that they drink and get loud. It's hard for a sober person to enjoy this. Most sober people cannot stand to stay around a bunch that are intoxicated. For instance, an alcoholic in recovery must let go of all the old drinking buddies to be successful. They are a trigger. If they are drinking to a large extent, I can see why you can't enjoy their humor. Sit down and ask yourself if it's you or the crowd that is the problem?
Some people will understand what your describing and some will read maybe read the 1st paragraph and move on without comment. Not everyone fits into the social mold. Not everyone drinks. You are admired in my opinion for not fitting into this social freenzy. Be yourself but drop the croud and just say no. Do the things you enjoy doing with your husband and tell him that it's ok if the two of you are together walking in parks, trails, visiting cities, or malls together. Try going to church and at least that will be of some influence away from the non-normal scene. And, don't beat yourself up for having principles that are different from other people. You're wise, not shy. I and my wife stopped going to social gatherings many years ago and we don't miss them and the people surely don't give it any thought at all, they just know that we are the best of friends and enjoy our private time aways from work.
I have the same problems I have to wonder if you could be suffering from depression. If your not sure what to do then may be go see a doctor and tell tghe doctor what you said here.
Army Wife Needs advice?
Army Life: How do I tell someone I do not like them while being nice, but straight forward?
We just transferred to Europe, and my husband is the Doc for a pretty big battalion over here. His PA that works for him is a big douche bag, and I can not stand his wife. I was prior enlisted when I was in the Air Force, and so was my husband before he became an officer. They are always talking trash about enlisted people, and are so snobby! I have tried to make friends with the other army wives, but they all have kids, and we really don't have anything in common except for the fact that our husbands are in the Army. I go to school full time, and have 2 dogs. I have made friends with the locals, and am really settling in. I have given it a fair shot by hanging out with her a couple times to make sure that we were not compatible friends, and been avoiding her emails. The problem is that they have been here for 3 years, and will be here another 3 until we are due for another transfer. They are established with in the community. I am scared that if I am honest with her, it will affect any future relationships here, and make my husbands professional relationship here very uneasy? Should I just suck it up, and not say anything?Army Wife Needs advice?
Why do you feel the need to tell her that you don't like her? Cant you just put your best face forward when you are around her? Refuse to talk down about enlisted soldiers as most are the backbone of the military and a lot of them have college educations too.
I dont know why officers always think they are so special...the best officers are ALWAYS the ones who were at one time enlisted and chose to change over.
Be a lady, be polite. You're very obviously a better person then she, you dont need to play her game, join her conversations or even hang out with her, but by being polite you will shine above her.Army Wife Needs advice?
';Honest with her';? Yes, you should just keep your mouth shut. Having been in the Air Force, you should know by now that you're going to run into people you don't like. Deal with it.
Once a douche, always a douche.
If you don't tell her, nobody else will. At least if she knows you're both prior enlisted she'll shut her trap while you're around.
You're in a tough spot. I understand how you feel, but kind of the opposite... My husband is enlisted (though educated), and my father was an officer. I can't stand when enlisted wives talk about ';officer's wives'; so stereotypically! They might as well be saying, ';Your mom...';
My husband is a chaplain assistant, so there are many functions that we attend where we may be one of the few enlisted, surrounded by officers. Maybe you can let her know that you feel like the derogatory comments about enlisted members is divisive, and you are very much in support of a more unified approach in casual conversation. As far as her personality in general, I probably wouldn't say anything unless she asked directly. Why cause waves when you don't have to? Politely find reasons to brush her invitations off. ';Sorry, I have an appointment scheduled for that day,'; is always perfect. You don't have to disclose what your appointment is- even if it's an appointment to take a nap!
If she asks though, I think then you have the right and the obligation to be up front and honest with her. Since she has some pull in the community, choose your words carefully and tactfully. Let her know that you aren't interested in having a close friendship, but that you will be seeing her around.
I doubt it would have too much affect on your hubby's professional life. Men have a tendency to say that it's just ';women'; and move on without grudges. My husband could care less whether I like a Chaplain's wife. He doesn't work with the wife. Now if you said something to the PA, that might be an issue!
GOOD LUCK!
O, the women who have no lives and wear their ranks. They make all the dependents look bad. Although most wives are very nice people who live their own lives, there is always the few that just stink up the bunch. I think you have been very diplomatic and professional dealing with her. However, now might be the time to tell her you are not comfortable associating with women like her. Tell her flat out you do not appreciate her trivial-mindedness and ignorance towards other people. Also, make sure she knows that you are prior military. She won’t buck you so hard. You are no fool and you have done your time. You have more to you than your husband’s rank.
I see your dilemma, my advice would be to kill her with kindness but at the same time letting her know that you don't appreciate her comments about enlisted. You didn't mention if she was prior service, if she isn't....then you could tell her nicely to keep her comments to herself seeing as how she chose NOT to serve her country. Be prepared that some people are ignorant and so set in their ways that they're not open to change. Wish you the best of luck.
I had a similar isolated experience.
I am 25 years old and in Graduate school. I was in class one the first day of one semester. One woman there was running her mouth about “enlisted wives are lazy, don’t do anything but get married at 18 and are uneducated like their husbands”. Well I piped in and asked her if she was married to a Marine? She said yes; she is married to a young officer.
I then flat out told her to her face I am married to a Gunnery Sergeant (E7) in the USMC and didn’t get married till I was 24 and he was 34, after I earned my BA. I guess I don’t fit into her stereotype. I told her this is an educational environment that fosters learning and open minded discussion; not a Key Wives meeting to drop your husband’s rank. She then tried to defend herself poorly, where I countered her again. I told her she was an embarrassment to military wives and she was the reason why stereotypes and bitterness can run rampant amongst the ranks. Also, why civilians get a poor view of military wives when there are women like you running your disrespectful mouth.
I never regretted attacking that *****. I also ended the semester with a GPA higher than her; she barely passed the course. I honestly think we should foster a respect and openness amongst each other. I hate the rank dropping and I hate the stereotypes. If you truly have an issue with her, you should counter her and tell her about her disrespectful actions. You are prior service and have experience on both sides of the spectrum; your opinion is valued and important. I personally feel women, like the women you are having problems with, have nothing to define themselves in this world but their husbands rank. You have accomplished more in your life than “just getting married”, she probably hasn’t. Hence her desire to talk down to other women. Good luck with the situation. I think she should know her actions are completely ridiculous and you do not want to associate with women of her caliber. I hate the meanness some women think they can lay out on other women for petty reasons (like, husbands rank).
I also know not all officer wives are this snobby. I didn’t want to become a stereotyping shrew like her.makeup care
We just transferred to Europe, and my husband is the Doc for a pretty big battalion over here. His PA that works for him is a big douche bag, and I can not stand his wife. I was prior enlisted when I was in the Air Force, and so was my husband before he became an officer. They are always talking trash about enlisted people, and are so snobby! I have tried to make friends with the other army wives, but they all have kids, and we really don't have anything in common except for the fact that our husbands are in the Army. I go to school full time, and have 2 dogs. I have made friends with the locals, and am really settling in. I have given it a fair shot by hanging out with her a couple times to make sure that we were not compatible friends, and been avoiding her emails. The problem is that they have been here for 3 years, and will be here another 3 until we are due for another transfer. They are established with in the community. I am scared that if I am honest with her, it will affect any future relationships here, and make my husbands professional relationship here very uneasy? Should I just suck it up, and not say anything?Army Wife Needs advice?
Why do you feel the need to tell her that you don't like her? Cant you just put your best face forward when you are around her? Refuse to talk down about enlisted soldiers as most are the backbone of the military and a lot of them have college educations too.
I dont know why officers always think they are so special...the best officers are ALWAYS the ones who were at one time enlisted and chose to change over.
Be a lady, be polite. You're very obviously a better person then she, you dont need to play her game, join her conversations or even hang out with her, but by being polite you will shine above her.Army Wife Needs advice?
';Honest with her';? Yes, you should just keep your mouth shut. Having been in the Air Force, you should know by now that you're going to run into people you don't like. Deal with it.
Once a douche, always a douche.
If you don't tell her, nobody else will. At least if she knows you're both prior enlisted she'll shut her trap while you're around.
You're in a tough spot. I understand how you feel, but kind of the opposite... My husband is enlisted (though educated), and my father was an officer. I can't stand when enlisted wives talk about ';officer's wives'; so stereotypically! They might as well be saying, ';Your mom...';
My husband is a chaplain assistant, so there are many functions that we attend where we may be one of the few enlisted, surrounded by officers. Maybe you can let her know that you feel like the derogatory comments about enlisted members is divisive, and you are very much in support of a more unified approach in casual conversation. As far as her personality in general, I probably wouldn't say anything unless she asked directly. Why cause waves when you don't have to? Politely find reasons to brush her invitations off. ';Sorry, I have an appointment scheduled for that day,'; is always perfect. You don't have to disclose what your appointment is- even if it's an appointment to take a nap!
If she asks though, I think then you have the right and the obligation to be up front and honest with her. Since she has some pull in the community, choose your words carefully and tactfully. Let her know that you aren't interested in having a close friendship, but that you will be seeing her around.
I doubt it would have too much affect on your hubby's professional life. Men have a tendency to say that it's just ';women'; and move on without grudges. My husband could care less whether I like a Chaplain's wife. He doesn't work with the wife. Now if you said something to the PA, that might be an issue!
GOOD LUCK!
O, the women who have no lives and wear their ranks. They make all the dependents look bad. Although most wives are very nice people who live their own lives, there is always the few that just stink up the bunch. I think you have been very diplomatic and professional dealing with her. However, now might be the time to tell her you are not comfortable associating with women like her. Tell her flat out you do not appreciate her trivial-mindedness and ignorance towards other people. Also, make sure she knows that you are prior military. She won’t buck you so hard. You are no fool and you have done your time. You have more to you than your husband’s rank.
I see your dilemma, my advice would be to kill her with kindness but at the same time letting her know that you don't appreciate her comments about enlisted. You didn't mention if she was prior service, if she isn't....then you could tell her nicely to keep her comments to herself seeing as how she chose NOT to serve her country. Be prepared that some people are ignorant and so set in their ways that they're not open to change. Wish you the best of luck.
I had a similar isolated experience.
I am 25 years old and in Graduate school. I was in class one the first day of one semester. One woman there was running her mouth about “enlisted wives are lazy, don’t do anything but get married at 18 and are uneducated like their husbands”. Well I piped in and asked her if she was married to a Marine? She said yes; she is married to a young officer.
I then flat out told her to her face I am married to a Gunnery Sergeant (E7) in the USMC and didn’t get married till I was 24 and he was 34, after I earned my BA. I guess I don’t fit into her stereotype. I told her this is an educational environment that fosters learning and open minded discussion; not a Key Wives meeting to drop your husband’s rank. She then tried to defend herself poorly, where I countered her again. I told her she was an embarrassment to military wives and she was the reason why stereotypes and bitterness can run rampant amongst the ranks. Also, why civilians get a poor view of military wives when there are women like you running your disrespectful mouth.
I never regretted attacking that *****. I also ended the semester with a GPA higher than her; she barely passed the course. I honestly think we should foster a respect and openness amongst each other. I hate the rank dropping and I hate the stereotypes. If you truly have an issue with her, you should counter her and tell her about her disrespectful actions. You are prior service and have experience on both sides of the spectrum; your opinion is valued and important. I personally feel women, like the women you are having problems with, have nothing to define themselves in this world but their husbands rank. You have accomplished more in your life than “just getting married”, she probably hasn’t. Hence her desire to talk down to other women. Good luck with the situation. I think she should know her actions are completely ridiculous and you do not want to associate with women of her caliber. I hate the meanness some women think they can lay out on other women for petty reasons (like, husbands rank).
I also know not all officer wives are this snobby. I didn’t want to become a stereotyping shrew like her.
Wife needs advice?
me and my wife are having a birthday in our back yard for her sister on saturday and my wife got these new shoes to wear to the party http://www5.jcpenney.com/jcp/ProductImageview.aspx?IT=G%26amp;ID=13b66a8%26amp;MD=EW%26amp;GRT=PRD%26amp;E=F%26amp;SA=T%26amp;VT=ZV%26amp;I=0900631b8148e0b2M.tif%26amp;VAS=%26amp;AV=F%26amp;HM=F%26amp;RGB=%26amp;AS=%26amp;AST=%26amp;BID=%26amp;VID=%26amp;RU=http%3a%2f%2fwww5.jcpenney.com%2fjcp%2fX6.aspx%3fpersist%3d1%257e53327%257e53412%257e%257ePRD%257c13b66a8%257e-1%257e%257e%26CmCatId%3d53327%7c53328%7c53412%26amp;IRU=Y%26amp;CmCatId=53327|53328|53412 and she wants to by something to wear whith the shoes but dose not have any idear what to buy to go with the shoes so any help would be greatWife needs advice?
Wow, I like those. Lots of possibilities. Try:
A white skirt, a black top, and colourful accessories.
A white skirt, coloured top, and black accessories.
Or if it's more casual/she prefers jeans, Dark wash jeans, white top, coloured accessories.
Like I said, there are a lot of possibilities. The key is to pick up both the black and white but not become monochromatic.Wife needs advice?
I'm not sure how old your wife is,
but this would look great on any age I guess!(:
http://shop.pacsun.com/girls/tanks/Arcadia-Tank/index.pro
with black shorts, or jean shorts.
adorable!
id by cute white shorts to go with them, or jean capris and a killer top.
i think that white shorts and i black top would look amazing! =)
try a black dress with white touches and long jewelry, try Macy's they always have a good selection
She can wear them with a nice jean skirt and a flowy summer top.
Some white or khaki capris would work with a red or purple top!
Wow, I like those. Lots of possibilities. Try:
A white skirt, a black top, and colourful accessories.
A white skirt, coloured top, and black accessories.
Or if it's more casual/she prefers jeans, Dark wash jeans, white top, coloured accessories.
Like I said, there are a lot of possibilities. The key is to pick up both the black and white but not become monochromatic.Wife needs advice?
I'm not sure how old your wife is,
but this would look great on any age I guess!(:
http://shop.pacsun.com/girls/tanks/Arcadia-Tank/index.pro
with black shorts, or jean shorts.
adorable!
id by cute white shorts to go with them, or jean capris and a killer top.
i think that white shorts and i black top would look amazing! =)
try a black dress with white touches and long jewelry, try Macy's they always have a good selection
She can wear them with a nice jean skirt and a flowy summer top.
Some white or khaki capris would work with a red or purple top!
Spiritual/Christian advice for wife of cheating husband?
I think my husband is interested in another woman. They text %26amp; call each other %26amp; I've found her name doodled on the side of his college notes. He says they're just friends, but I can't get over it. Even if he's not cheating, he must have some kind of feelings for her %26amp; I don't know how to deal w/it. I love my husband %26amp; I want to make this work! I'm looking for some Christian encouragement / advice from someone who has been in a similar situation. He understands that what he's done hurts me %26amp; he's willing to stop talking to her.
I don't need anyone to tell me what I already know is obvious! I posted a similar question last week %26amp; got some really negative feedback, like...';he's cheating';, ';get a divorce';, ';hire a detective';. This isn't the kind of advice i'm looking for! Thanks.Spiritual/Christian advice for wife of cheating husband?
Since you are a christian, I will tell you what I did in a similar situation. I acknowledged that God is still in charge, I prayed that I would become WILLING to turn the situation over to Him and prayed that He would reveal to me what I needed to know. We can really get a ';story'; going on in our heads. Step back, take a deep breath, and give it to God. He will guide you in your next steps. And stop the ';monkey chatter'; that's going on inside your head. My prayers are with you sweetie!Spiritual/Christian advice for wife of cheating husband?
The only advice I can give is to go with what your gut instinct tells you is going on..if you feel that the marriage can be saved and the TWO of you can work it out, then use your beliefs and move forward from there, but only the two of you can make it work, if he has already made up his mind to care for someone else, there is not much else you can do to save it.
I have been in a similar situation recently. I believed my husband to be ';friends'; with a certain female, he too was texting and calling. I trusted him enough to really believe that. I wanted to make everything work and I did everything I could not to accuse him of anything at first, but then he started acting differently toward me, the next thing you know he was asking me for a divorce, as we had made vows that cheating and abuse would be the only reason for divorce.
I hope for the sanctity of marriage itself that your marriage can be saved, I has wished mine could have, but I cannot look the man I married in the eye, knowing he is not looking at me back.
Good luck.
well,I've never had this happen to me before.But,I am a christian,and I'm only 14.I give really good advice,so keep reading.Okay.I don't know if he is cheating or not,but you should trust your husband.And,you should have a talk with him.don't yell at him though.You should pray to God and ask him to help you with this.you should have done that,instead of asking people on here.because people can give you the wrong advice.Well,I hope I helped.And,I really hope everything works out.
God is in control. Now you must become steadfast and unmovable. You must be secure in your marriage. Don't allow the DEVIL to rampage through your marriage. If he is cheating God will give you a sign . (the old saying that everything done in the dark will come to the light)
Prayer is the key and you have to have faith in your husband until you can prove that something is going on. Sometimes they really are just friends and they use each other for support and encouragement. Sometimes we as women write to much into little things before we have all the facts, Have you talked to you hubby about the 3 of you meeting and you getting to know her,(you just might have something in common) If he is willing to give you the passwords and all the information that you ask for then it can't be to much to it other than a friendship. He is willing to stop talking to her for the sake of saving his marriage, then you need to look again or find you someone that you can confide in and talk to also.
I really hate that you are going through and that it has caused you so much heartache. But if you give it to GOD and leave it there things will work themselves out.
My prayers are with you and Good luck
Tell him his actions have caused you to loose all the trust that you once had in him. If he wants this marriage to work, then he needs to focus on his actions and not just his words. And you need to let him know your marriage has no room for another woman and if he cannot be acceptive of that and live by that, you WILL throw him out for good.
Wow. This must hurt. You already know that this is emotional and his attachment to her is distracting to your marriage. We all have to put limits on our attraction to others and focus our desires for our spouse. When we don't set limits then we can let simple infatuation blind us to something more.
First, continue to sit down and talk with your husband. Remind each other of your love for him and his love for you. Acknowledge that there will sometimes be trials and tests and encourage each other to be there for each other.
Discuss with your husband that this hurts you. If the relationship is genuinely a friendship, don't let the illusion of friendship between the opposite sex go without boundaries.
Begin with yourself by praying to God. Let God know that God is the center of your life. Give this to God. Continue to talk with your husband, and then see a pastoral counselor for some brief counseling. Sometimes, this is all you need.
Let's trust your husband, but at the same time don't let trust become blind permission. Something like this is a sign that there might be other things wrong. Learn what you have control over and make changes with what you have control over. Subconciously, we sometimes give permission for someone to go over the edge. Likewise, we can push our spouse away and allow things to happen.
I have a hunch that you already know what the problem is and you probably have an idea or two what needs to be done. Just don't get overwelmed. Be honest, be real, trust in God, and trust in the boundaries of marriage. Once you define the problem and decide what it is you want to accomplish then pick something and do it. Start working towards strengthening your marriage.
Try meditating on these Scriptures, then ask God for wisdom and do what you believe is best.
Eph. 4:2, 26-27, 29-32; 5:1-2
Gal. 6:1-2
Rom. 15:1
Matt. 18:21-22
Mk 11:22-26
Is your husband a Christian? Read together Eph 5:22-33.
You can also use a concordance or Bible guide to look for reference relating to anger, forgivenss, reconciliation, and other similar topics.
Trina B had awesome advice. Listen to her.
First of all out of respect for you he should stop talking to her, there is a thing called emotional infedility, which means nothing physical, just the DESIRE to want another woman, is a SIN, I'm sure it's hurting your self esteem to. Even if you tell him to leave her, how will you know he doesn't stop. you need to think about what you can do to be sure. Whether it's checking his cell phone bill, or reading his email, because if he promises you he will stop, then he doesn't, he has an ';addiction'; to her, often times guys get a kick out of talking to other woman, they ';have the cake and eat it to'; which is just unfair, no man is so great that he deserves that. no matter what they think of themselves. Tell him you'll walk away from this if he doesn't cater to how you feel about this situation..
I know as a Christian myself sometimes that advice just doesn't fit. Have you gone yet to talk to your minister/priest? It may help you to get a tow hold on the situation yourself. Then the two of you can possibly go together to talk to your minister/priest. It seems like you husband accepts that he's done something wrong and is willing to remedy the situation. If he and you are willing to work together, you can make this work.
I would say that you need to make sure you know everything that happened. I would want to know everything, that way you know exactly what it is you are dealing with. Then go from there with spiritual counsel. Being open and honest with each other is the first step.
Of course prayer. I will pray for you, as well. God will show the way.
It sounds like he is atleast emotionally cheating. Which is of course just as bad. He needs to break contact with her immediately and he needs to understand for awhile you will be monitering him let him know it's not going to be forever. Since you are a christian you have the benefit of God on your side. So here is the best advice anyone could give (some might have already) you need to draw close to God I mean close do the things in your life you HAVE to and let the rest go b/c right now the most important thing is continually filling yourself with his presence and letting him comfort you. And know this your marriage can actually benefit from this remeber it says in the bible '; all things do work together for the good of them who love the lord'; and it also states ';what satan intended for evil God will make good'; Now is the time to make a pact with your husband to lay everything out on the table and seek forgiveness for the wrongs you both have done and build a stronger, happier, healthier marriage. Can it be done YES!! I would HIGHLY recommend you order the cd sets Love and Respect and Cracking the Communication code ( both by Ememrson Eggrich on loveandrespect.com) or you can buy the books at a christian bookstore. I can tell you for a fact these books opened my eyes to the years of tearing down I DID unknowingly which led to the downward spiral of my marriage that almost ended in divorce! I want to give you more advice so if you want you can click on my avatar ( my profile) and email me your address if you want I have alot more info I can share. Good Luck and may the Lord bless you with His peace. EDIT: Remeber this too satan is the author of confusion so when you suddenly feel overwhelmed it's time to pray for God to take away the confusion and give you knowledge and wisdom take each thing step by step. You also should fast b/c fasting and praying is a VERY powerful way to reach the throne of God. Do not feel bad that you don't trust him that will take time and let him know as long as he works at it the day will come for you to trust him and God will let you know when it's time you will feel the nagging in your spirit don't ignore it!
You should both go talk to a Christian marriage counselor.
I don't know what kind of advice you are looking for but, I will see what I can do. First of all, I think you need to sit down and talk to him and tell him how hurt you feel and that you are having a hard time getting over it. If you are so religious, I think now would be the right time to put things into God's hands through prayer. I have always found that it never hurts to get the marriage vows out and read them over again and perhaps resay them to each other. Getting some good counseling either together or separate is a tremdous help. You might ask you Minister if he could counsol you or if he could reccmend someone. Good luck.
Can you go to your clergy and discuss it with them? Have your husband go and talk about your vows and how important they are to you and each other. Have your clergy person remind the both of you (him) how God is there for you both and that you both made a promise to Him and each other and then couples counseling might be good. If he does not want to go, please go alone and maybe if you need to reach a decision alone, you will at least know that you tried your best and you will have the Spiritual support behind you.
Good luck
Girly, I'm no christian, thank goodness for that, but here's the advise I have for you. I was once interested in another woman many many years ago after being with my wife for two years. I was into this other woman because I thought I could get from her what i wasn't getting from my wife. Didn't really want to leave my wife so i started talking to her about how I felt about what it is I was lacking. She said something like, ';Duh dummy I can't read minds so if you're not happy with something tell me and we'll work on it. You dooffus you.'; Ever since then we always talked about each others changing needs as we grew as people. Tell him how you feel and get him to tell you how he feels. Be opened minded to what he'll tell you and I hope he'll be as well. Ending a relationship is the easy way out and relationships aren't easy things. They required communication, understanding and a will to change for the other but not change who we are fundamentally.
I think you're a smart enough person that you'll be able to work through this. All hope is not lost as long as there's a will to work things out.
Best of luck to you.
The very best advice I can give you is to pray.Pour your heart out to the Lord.Ask Him for wisdom.He will give.If your husband is willing to stop talking to her that will help too.In Isiah He says that he will hold your right hand.He has been holding mine for a while now.Maybe the both of you could talk to you Pastor?
Get into christian counceling. Or try Ed Young ministries on some wonderful marriage counselings. He is really an eye opener. I really understand and pray for your happiness. I had a husband that let his flesh and my anger destroy our 23 year marrage. It takes a lot of work to keep a partnership together but if both parties want it then no man or woman can come and break it apart. May he heal your heart, you are not alone so beleive!
Prayer is always good advice. Also, just plain open communication. If he knows how this makes you feel, then he should stop the friendship immediately. Sounds like you have a good relationship with your husband, but, maybe something is lacking for him, and this is why he accepted the attention of another woman. Communication - very important.
Best of Luck
Pray about it, and if you feel that you need to do something about this, do it. He says he's willing to stop talking to her, maybe ask him to change his cell phone number. Tell him that you just don't feel comfortable with him talking to another woman so much, and you feel he should be sharing that time with you. Just put it in God's hands, and if your husband is unwilling to cut ties with the girl (which he should be willing to do) go see your pastor for some marriage counseling. He/she will be glad to help you out, and straighten things out.
I don't need anyone to tell me what I already know is obvious! I posted a similar question last week %26amp; got some really negative feedback, like...';he's cheating';, ';get a divorce';, ';hire a detective';. This isn't the kind of advice i'm looking for! Thanks.Spiritual/Christian advice for wife of cheating husband?
Since you are a christian, I will tell you what I did in a similar situation. I acknowledged that God is still in charge, I prayed that I would become WILLING to turn the situation over to Him and prayed that He would reveal to me what I needed to know. We can really get a ';story'; going on in our heads. Step back, take a deep breath, and give it to God. He will guide you in your next steps. And stop the ';monkey chatter'; that's going on inside your head. My prayers are with you sweetie!Spiritual/Christian advice for wife of cheating husband?
The only advice I can give is to go with what your gut instinct tells you is going on..if you feel that the marriage can be saved and the TWO of you can work it out, then use your beliefs and move forward from there, but only the two of you can make it work, if he has already made up his mind to care for someone else, there is not much else you can do to save it.
I have been in a similar situation recently. I believed my husband to be ';friends'; with a certain female, he too was texting and calling. I trusted him enough to really believe that. I wanted to make everything work and I did everything I could not to accuse him of anything at first, but then he started acting differently toward me, the next thing you know he was asking me for a divorce, as we had made vows that cheating and abuse would be the only reason for divorce.
I hope for the sanctity of marriage itself that your marriage can be saved, I has wished mine could have, but I cannot look the man I married in the eye, knowing he is not looking at me back.
Good luck.
well,I've never had this happen to me before.But,I am a christian,and I'm only 14.I give really good advice,so keep reading.Okay.I don't know if he is cheating or not,but you should trust your husband.And,you should have a talk with him.don't yell at him though.You should pray to God and ask him to help you with this.you should have done that,instead of asking people on here.because people can give you the wrong advice.Well,I hope I helped.And,I really hope everything works out.
God is in control. Now you must become steadfast and unmovable. You must be secure in your marriage. Don't allow the DEVIL to rampage through your marriage. If he is cheating God will give you a sign . (the old saying that everything done in the dark will come to the light)
Prayer is the key and you have to have faith in your husband until you can prove that something is going on. Sometimes they really are just friends and they use each other for support and encouragement. Sometimes we as women write to much into little things before we have all the facts, Have you talked to you hubby about the 3 of you meeting and you getting to know her,(you just might have something in common) If he is willing to give you the passwords and all the information that you ask for then it can't be to much to it other than a friendship. He is willing to stop talking to her for the sake of saving his marriage, then you need to look again or find you someone that you can confide in and talk to also.
I really hate that you are going through and that it has caused you so much heartache. But if you give it to GOD and leave it there things will work themselves out.
My prayers are with you and Good luck
Tell him his actions have caused you to loose all the trust that you once had in him. If he wants this marriage to work, then he needs to focus on his actions and not just his words. And you need to let him know your marriage has no room for another woman and if he cannot be acceptive of that and live by that, you WILL throw him out for good.
Wow. This must hurt. You already know that this is emotional and his attachment to her is distracting to your marriage. We all have to put limits on our attraction to others and focus our desires for our spouse. When we don't set limits then we can let simple infatuation blind us to something more.
First, continue to sit down and talk with your husband. Remind each other of your love for him and his love for you. Acknowledge that there will sometimes be trials and tests and encourage each other to be there for each other.
Discuss with your husband that this hurts you. If the relationship is genuinely a friendship, don't let the illusion of friendship between the opposite sex go without boundaries.
Begin with yourself by praying to God. Let God know that God is the center of your life. Give this to God. Continue to talk with your husband, and then see a pastoral counselor for some brief counseling. Sometimes, this is all you need.
Let's trust your husband, but at the same time don't let trust become blind permission. Something like this is a sign that there might be other things wrong. Learn what you have control over and make changes with what you have control over. Subconciously, we sometimes give permission for someone to go over the edge. Likewise, we can push our spouse away and allow things to happen.
I have a hunch that you already know what the problem is and you probably have an idea or two what needs to be done. Just don't get overwelmed. Be honest, be real, trust in God, and trust in the boundaries of marriage. Once you define the problem and decide what it is you want to accomplish then pick something and do it. Start working towards strengthening your marriage.
Try meditating on these Scriptures, then ask God for wisdom and do what you believe is best.
Eph. 4:2, 26-27, 29-32; 5:1-2
Gal. 6:1-2
Rom. 15:1
Matt. 18:21-22
Mk 11:22-26
Is your husband a Christian? Read together Eph 5:22-33.
You can also use a concordance or Bible guide to look for reference relating to anger, forgivenss, reconciliation, and other similar topics.
Trina B had awesome advice. Listen to her.
First of all out of respect for you he should stop talking to her, there is a thing called emotional infedility, which means nothing physical, just the DESIRE to want another woman, is a SIN, I'm sure it's hurting your self esteem to. Even if you tell him to leave her, how will you know he doesn't stop. you need to think about what you can do to be sure. Whether it's checking his cell phone bill, or reading his email, because if he promises you he will stop, then he doesn't, he has an ';addiction'; to her, often times guys get a kick out of talking to other woman, they ';have the cake and eat it to'; which is just unfair, no man is so great that he deserves that. no matter what they think of themselves. Tell him you'll walk away from this if he doesn't cater to how you feel about this situation..
I know as a Christian myself sometimes that advice just doesn't fit. Have you gone yet to talk to your minister/priest? It may help you to get a tow hold on the situation yourself. Then the two of you can possibly go together to talk to your minister/priest. It seems like you husband accepts that he's done something wrong and is willing to remedy the situation. If he and you are willing to work together, you can make this work.
I would say that you need to make sure you know everything that happened. I would want to know everything, that way you know exactly what it is you are dealing with. Then go from there with spiritual counsel. Being open and honest with each other is the first step.
Of course prayer. I will pray for you, as well. God will show the way.
It sounds like he is atleast emotionally cheating. Which is of course just as bad. He needs to break contact with her immediately and he needs to understand for awhile you will be monitering him let him know it's not going to be forever. Since you are a christian you have the benefit of God on your side. So here is the best advice anyone could give (some might have already) you need to draw close to God I mean close do the things in your life you HAVE to and let the rest go b/c right now the most important thing is continually filling yourself with his presence and letting him comfort you. And know this your marriage can actually benefit from this remeber it says in the bible '; all things do work together for the good of them who love the lord'; and it also states ';what satan intended for evil God will make good'; Now is the time to make a pact with your husband to lay everything out on the table and seek forgiveness for the wrongs you both have done and build a stronger, happier, healthier marriage. Can it be done YES!! I would HIGHLY recommend you order the cd sets Love and Respect and Cracking the Communication code ( both by Ememrson Eggrich on loveandrespect.com) or you can buy the books at a christian bookstore. I can tell you for a fact these books opened my eyes to the years of tearing down I DID unknowingly which led to the downward spiral of my marriage that almost ended in divorce! I want to give you more advice so if you want you can click on my avatar ( my profile) and email me your address if you want I have alot more info I can share. Good Luck and may the Lord bless you with His peace. EDIT: Remeber this too satan is the author of confusion so when you suddenly feel overwhelmed it's time to pray for God to take away the confusion and give you knowledge and wisdom take each thing step by step. You also should fast b/c fasting and praying is a VERY powerful way to reach the throne of God. Do not feel bad that you don't trust him that will take time and let him know as long as he works at it the day will come for you to trust him and God will let you know when it's time you will feel the nagging in your spirit don't ignore it!
You should both go talk to a Christian marriage counselor.
I don't know what kind of advice you are looking for but, I will see what I can do. First of all, I think you need to sit down and talk to him and tell him how hurt you feel and that you are having a hard time getting over it. If you are so religious, I think now would be the right time to put things into God's hands through prayer. I have always found that it never hurts to get the marriage vows out and read them over again and perhaps resay them to each other. Getting some good counseling either together or separate is a tremdous help. You might ask you Minister if he could counsol you or if he could reccmend someone. Good luck.
Can you go to your clergy and discuss it with them? Have your husband go and talk about your vows and how important they are to you and each other. Have your clergy person remind the both of you (him) how God is there for you both and that you both made a promise to Him and each other and then couples counseling might be good. If he does not want to go, please go alone and maybe if you need to reach a decision alone, you will at least know that you tried your best and you will have the Spiritual support behind you.
Good luck
Girly, I'm no christian, thank goodness for that, but here's the advise I have for you. I was once interested in another woman many many years ago after being with my wife for two years. I was into this other woman because I thought I could get from her what i wasn't getting from my wife. Didn't really want to leave my wife so i started talking to her about how I felt about what it is I was lacking. She said something like, ';Duh dummy I can't read minds so if you're not happy with something tell me and we'll work on it. You dooffus you.'; Ever since then we always talked about each others changing needs as we grew as people. Tell him how you feel and get him to tell you how he feels. Be opened minded to what he'll tell you and I hope he'll be as well. Ending a relationship is the easy way out and relationships aren't easy things. They required communication, understanding and a will to change for the other but not change who we are fundamentally.
I think you're a smart enough person that you'll be able to work through this. All hope is not lost as long as there's a will to work things out.
Best of luck to you.
The very best advice I can give you is to pray.Pour your heart out to the Lord.Ask Him for wisdom.He will give.If your husband is willing to stop talking to her that will help too.In Isiah He says that he will hold your right hand.He has been holding mine for a while now.Maybe the both of you could talk to you Pastor?
Get into christian counceling. Or try Ed Young ministries on some wonderful marriage counselings. He is really an eye opener. I really understand and pray for your happiness. I had a husband that let his flesh and my anger destroy our 23 year marrage. It takes a lot of work to keep a partnership together but if both parties want it then no man or woman can come and break it apart. May he heal your heart, you are not alone so beleive!
Prayer is always good advice. Also, just plain open communication. If he knows how this makes you feel, then he should stop the friendship immediately. Sounds like you have a good relationship with your husband, but, maybe something is lacking for him, and this is why he accepted the attention of another woman. Communication - very important.
Best of Luck
Pray about it, and if you feel that you need to do something about this, do it. He says he's willing to stop talking to her, maybe ask him to change his cell phone number. Tell him that you just don't feel comfortable with him talking to another woman so much, and you feel he should be sharing that time with you. Just put it in God's hands, and if your husband is unwilling to cut ties with the girl (which he should be willing to do) go see your pastor for some marriage counseling. He/she will be glad to help you out, and straighten things out.
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